What a Difference a Year Makes!
Updated: May 1, 2019
Every year I like to sit down and reflect on the things I’ve done, the experiences I’ve had and the people that have brought the emotions that fill my soul. This year has been a whirlwind to say the least but I can honestly say, I’m exactly where I’m suppose to be and that I’m finally finding my place again. A lot of people don’t know but if you would have asked me 4 years ago if I’d ever be living in VB or calling this place my home again, I would have laughed and said you’re outta your mind. I had made a life for myself in Atlanta and loved being in the middle of it all but life had a different plan for me.
In 2013, I had an accident, in which I broke my back in 3 places; anything that could have gone wrong during surgery did; including jump starting my heart but it wasn’t till 2015 that I woke up paralyzed from the chest down that I finally accepted the fact, I needed help and moved back home to VB. I spent my days in bed or at PT, I stopped doing a lot of the things that made me feel alive and I became dark in my frustration of why… I felt like I was swimming in a sea with nothing in sight, just me bobbing in a waveless ocean not even a fish or shark at my feet to take a bite… I look back at this and remember a friend saying to me “Enjoy your down time because life has a plan for you. The rest you get now will help you later.” If you know me, you know I move a mile a min and rarely say no to anything that involves living life, so from that… to 30/40 mins just to get up to use the restroom, was crushing (I called that the year of patience). I was lost and I felt like VB was just another step backwards. However, I feel like the past 2 years have been the years of transformation and growth. That being said I had to have these experiences, the days of darkness and gloom, of waiting and feeling as stale as a saltine so that I could/can use it for motivation and perspective.
Everyday I daydream and carry a vivid imagination which ultimately got me thinking… If I want life to change, then I need to change. Not only my attitude but my surroundings have to also. I started going to groups and found stuff that I was interested in and took chances by just showing up. Showing up was the biggest part of the battle because once I started doing this my life started to shift and mold into something beautiful again. I started to see the color coming back into my life and for me color is everything. The people that we’re placed around showed me what it is to live again, to make my heart race with excitement and to remember why we do life in the first place.
To me life is and always will be about the people, the experiences and the chances we take to live our lives, to love and be loved. For life is not about what car we drive or how much money is in our bank account but how we live life and how we make others feel. At the end of my day, I want to know that I made someone smile or maybe look at the world a little softer or with big doe eyes and want more than just themselves.
This year I feel as though my word will be Establishment. I want to make myself known again; not in a household kind of way but known as someone who does what they say, who shows up and makes an impression. I have so many ideas and see so many creative avenues presenting themselves. I want to continue to share and be open with people so that I may help inspire and show a world of wonder to the people around me. So let’s see if this year I can keep up with the challenge and even inspire myself!